Archive for the 'SMART WORDS' Category

The forgotten pearl of x-rated talk radio: Podcasting Smodcast

KEVIN SMITH / Smodcast / life and other funny junk

Fans of Kevin Smith will undoubtably know about his hilarious podcast with his producer sidekick Scott Mosier. Not work safe nor safe in most homes across America, this podcast is a hilarious take on a life of the everyman, breaking every FCC regulation therefore staying as human as possible. This is not a Howard Stern sort of gratuitous comedy show, rather more of a candid look into the views and theoretical views of a couple of extremely witty gentlemen.

Check out the Smodcast homepage at http://smodcast.com/ – Children, please do NOT click that link! I said no! Hey, stop that! Noooooooooooooo! Honestly, we don’t need to be sued nor tarnish an otherwise pristine upbringing. We tried for a month to keep this blog family friendly and it just wasn’t working. We’re not fans of the politically correct but we are fans of Warnings.

Subscribe to Smodcast via iTunes – Again, same warning as above because  our legal department [sic] tells us we must. Enjoy!

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The forgotten pearl of literary disco lyrics: Lady Marmalade and the Beast

FRENCH LIT / La Belle / dirty disco

Walt Disney’s and Jean Cocteau’s adaptations of Beauty and the Beast are both based on the very well-known eponymous fairy tale which was written by the French Madame Le Prince de Beaumont (1756). A fairy tale re-written for children, taming it down from the far more sensational original.

The first Beauty and the Beast (La Belle et la Bête) was written by Madame de Villeneuve in 1740. In her tale, the prince changed into a beast not only superficially but also in manners and mind. Every night, at dinner, the Beast asks the ritual question: “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir, la Belle ?” which translates these days, not to a polite “Do you want to go to bed with me, beautiful?” but actually a lot more like “Do you wanna F*** me!?” And of course the princess is shocked and disgusted.

Now if you remember a very famous song, Lady Marmalade (written by Bob Crewe & Kenny Nolan, produced by Allen Toussaint) performed by some curiously-named Patti LaBelle. Patti even uses the capital “B” in the second part of her last name (pseudonym), as in the quite non-subtle original French version. Uncanny similarities? We speculate that this is indeed the true origin.

Now you know what Patti is really singing, that demanding Diva!
Enjoy this original song more than ever before with all of its expletives:

Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da
Gitchi gitchi ya ya here
Mocha Chocalata ya ya 
Creole lady Marmalade 
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir ?!
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The forgotten pearl of contemporary love songs: Chat Room Fever by BFF

BFF / Soft Tools / chatroom fever

Love songs come and go each year and so do the tears and stomach pain. What we’ve unearthed is truly the supreme love song of the 21st century. Surprisingly, it isn’t performed by Sinatra. It isn’t Barry Manilow nor Rod Stewart. It isn’t Justin Bieber or Ben Folds Five. It’s the band called BFF with their honest lament, Chat Room Fever.

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